Myron has said a few comments over the past few months which are really quite revealing: we think he has forgotten all about life before us! In a way this is a relief (we do want him to forget about any of the pain he experienced before joining us as a family); it’s also quite flattering (in a slightly selfish way); and finally quite surprising, now forcing us to think what should we do now? Some of his comments and questions even lead us to think that Myron believes he came from my tummy. In a few years this will clearly be obvious to him that he didn’t, but what about now?
I feel we began our adoption journey slightly blind and naive. How many adoption books did we read beforehand? Zip! Not necessarily due to arrogance, merely no time! And besides, who needs adoption books, blogs and research articles when we have a UK friend who has worked with ‘looked after children’ for years and also is on her own adoption journey. What did we do when Myron cried for hours at bed time in those first two weeks? Send a whatsapp message to our dear UK friend. When he threw tantrums out of defiance? The messages continued back and forth.
And now we feel it’s time to start explaining things about Myron’s life and family to him in a child-friendly way. So what do we do? Well initially I started looking for children’s books about adoption. There are plenty of naff ones out there! And many that are very specific to individual situations. I asked around for recommendations, looked up forums and found some titles that people both raved about and slated. Some bright spark suggested to me that I create my own one, since everyone’s story is different. So that’s what I tried to do. I started with what looked like a scrapbook of family pics in a Snapfish My Project folder online; then after consulting my number one support line friend, she helped me turn a scrapbook into a life story. The marathon of messages and support ensued, I didn’t realise that a life story would be so raw and open but of course that is the point. Telling the truth, in a child-appropriate way, when they are still young. Saying it now, when Myron may not completely understand, so it’s not considered a taboo or something we don’t talk about. I feel I have taken a journey within myself writing his ‘life story book’ – what a process that has been for me! Writing where he was found and his journey after that.
After a mountain of edits, I go to pay online and… blocked! What? Several support chats, possibly one hundred whatsapp messages to my adoption mentor (to the rescue), several emails to customer service, several phone calls her end to customer service and… it’s ordered! I couldn’t pay in Uganda, a banned country for Snapfish purchases…
Myron’s ‘life story book’ has been ordered. We are hoping it will arrive in time for our UK pastor and his wife to bring out when they visit us in a week and a half’s time. Please pray for speedy printing and for it’s quick arrival. And also for when we first share it with Myron.
The cover of Myron’s ‘life story book’
The first page of Myron’s ‘life story book’. A big thanks to my ‘adoption mentor’ and incredible friend from the UK who helped me put this together.